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October 14, 2004

The FFFT are slipping

I love the Football Fans for Truth, I really do. But they've missed two very serious recent sports blunders by John Kerry.

Second Presidential Debate

KERRY: Boy, to listen to that -- the president, I don't think, is living in a world of reality with respect to the environment. Now, if you're a Red Sox fan, that's OK. But if you're a president, it's not.

In a question about the environment, Kerry disses Red Sox fans, saying it's "OK" not to live in the "world of reality." He also implicitly disses himself, inasmuch as he claims to be a Red Sox fan. Does it still count as dissing himself if he's lying about his fandom?

And then there's this juicy one:

Remarks at Taylor, MI
"We’ve been waiting since 1918 for the Boston Red Sox to win the World Series, and . . . if I had a choice between the White House and the World Series this year, I’m going to take the White House. How's that?"

(click here for audio)

Well, now, that seems rather selfish. The Red Sox haven't won a World Series since Nineteen Eighteen. 86 long years. EIGHTY SIX YEARS! That's longer than the vast majority of us have been alive. That's a lot longer than it's been since a Democrat won the White House. Is it that important to you, Senator? Are you so eager for power that you'll condemn the Red Sox to fail yet again?

Now, the obvious defense to this comment is that it is true. I'm sure lots of people would prefer to see their beloved sports team finally get the grand prize after 86 years over being the President, but nobody can fault Kerry for having the opposite preference, right?

Well, to that I say, John Kerry, you sure picked a funny line when you finally chose to tell the truth. Lesson One, which you have consistently failed to learn despite numerous lessons, is not to lie. Lesson Number Two, for advanced students only, is that just because something is true, you do not need to say it. There's just no point in saying that you'd prefer anything to a Red Sox World Series win. People know that if given the choice you'd probably take the White House over pretty much anything... after all, you've made it your goal since childhood, and every step you've taken has been a step closer to that goal. Good for you. Now learn to keep your arrogant yap shut.

Since John Kerry made his comment, Boston has fallen behind two games to zero against the hated New York Yankees in the American League playoffs. Do you believe in curses? Because Red Sox fans do.

And you, John Kerry, are no Red Sox fan. Despite this, in Detroit: (all quotes taken from johnkerry.com)

My Patriots won another Superbowl, my Red Sox almost won the Pennant, and my Celtics…well, my Celtics made sure they didn’t get in the way of a Piston’s championship.

And this, before the National Conference of Black Mayors:

I have a great mayor back in Boston, Tom Menino. You can call him anytime and talk about education, housing, and how the Red Sox’s keep breaking our hearts.

And this, in Illinois:

And who knows, maybe after it’s all over, George Bush and I will be able to sit down together at a Red Sox-Rangers game and shake hands as friends.

And of course, this:

Como bien sabes soy un veterano y un fanático de los Red Sox.

(As you are well aware, I am a veteran and a Red Sox fan.)

You are no fan. They're not "your" Red Sox. The Red Sox have never broken your heart. You couldn't care less about the outcome of the Red Sox-Rangers game. Senador Kerry, usted no es un fanático de los Red Sox.

What you are, Kerry, is a big fat phony. Every word out of your mouth is intended to pander. You used your fake fandom to pander to a Detroit sports team. At least this time you got the state right, and I note you didn't risk identifying the home stadium. Good move.

You used your fake fandom to pander to a group of black politicians. Gotta drive turnout among that core constituency, right? I bet turning out the black vote is even more critical now that they're gradually starting to realize what kind of chains their "leaders" and the Democratic Party keep them in. If you can only count on 90% instead of 93%, it's much more important to turn them out. Right?

You used your fake fandom to affect an equally fake "I hope we can all be friends" demeanor. Like anyone believes that, after all the swill you and your surrogates and the president and his surrogates have dumped all over each other. This is the bitterest election I've ever seen. And I blame your party for being full of whackjobs and psychos who drove the debate to this level.

And apparently, your fake fandom has to take second billing to your fake war heroism before the Spanish-speaking. I guess "a veteran and a Red Sox fan" is a good enough biography for those Hispanics, huh? They're starting to wake up, too. Shouldn't've killed Estrada.

This is my message to all the beer-swilling, nacho-eating, team-apparel-wearing, red-blooded, die-hard FANS, and especially fans of the Red Sox, Packers, and Wolverines: THIS MAN IS NOT FIT TO BE OUR SPORTS-FAN-IN-CHIEF! Vote wisely on November 2.

Update: Welcome readers from The Corner! Have fun, look around, tell your friends ;-)

October 14, 2004 in Election '04 | Permalink


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Tracked on Oct 15, 2004 12:45:10 PM



FFFT strongly objects to your accusation of slippage. Here at the organization, we go beyond the regurgitation of quotes and events--unlike many in the blogosphere who shall go unnamed. We instead seek to find the larger truth revealed by Senator Kerry's sports iniquities, a process that involves time for investigation and thought.

With all that additional effort, we still had these events on our site over 12 hours ago. You must have just missed them.

Yours in football faith,


Posted by: AV_Geek | Oct 15, 2004 2:27:47 PM

Anyone who thinks Red Sox fans would be offended by a joke saying they are "delusional" doesn't know a *thing* about Sox fans.

And if you think it was Kerry that "cursed" the Red Sox...well, frankly you don't know a thing about sports.

If we're going to talk about the relationship between the candidates and sports...rather than make general, uninformed comments, how about we base our discussion on facts? Facts such as the Texas Rangers' W-L record in the early 90's?...

Posted by: Jesse | Oct 16, 2004 9:39:37 PM

Jesse, in the first place, I personally know at least two Red Sox fans who were offended at being classified as delusional. And I'm well aware of what initially cursed the Red Sox... but I'm also aware that Red Sox fans consider actions since then to have amplified and reinforced that curse.

On the larger issue, the problem isn't that John Kerry is no sports fan. Clearly, he is not. The problem is that he PRETENDS to be a sports fan. He thinks that the pretense is easy to affect, that if he spouts a few key catchphrases he can fool the sports fans into thinking he's one of them. But pretending to be a sports fan is tougher than he thinks.

John Kerry is a big phony.

Posted by: Voice of Reason | Oct 17, 2004 6:40:56 PM

Um... if you've lived in New England, you'd there are two types of Red Sox fans:

the ones who take it really seriously and the ones who can joke about the very personification of futility known as the Old Town Team.

This could be the stupidest thing I have ever read. Ever. And I've read the entire Babysitter's Club Series.

Posted by: Moe | Oct 18, 2004 4:52:46 PM

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