And now, a poem

You may talk o' good reporters,
Who aren't partisan supporters,
To whom bias would provoke a mass chagrin, it's
'Bout responsible free press,
Which was once on CBS,
And its weekly magazine called Sixty Minutes.
But today they find it scary
That their candidate John Kerry
Self-destructs about as quickly as he can,
So they hurried forth assistance,
And the man to go the distance,
Was their frothing lefty anchor, Gunga Dan.

It was "Dan! Dan! Dan!
You quickly must devise a sneaky plan!"
For none could make attacks,
Irrespective of the facts,
Better than that Texan newsie Gunga Dan.

Now his duty, he'll not shirk it,
So he telephoned Bill Burkett,
Who did his best to smear our leader George.
He booted his preferred
Secret weapon, MS Word,
Sat down and then proceeded with the forge.
With fonts of perfect center,
And a long-retired mentor,
And letters with a variable span.
All done in Times New Roman,
Then this psychopathic showman,
Faxed out the smelly lot to Gunga Dan.

Dan! Dan! Dan!
You think that Bush is worse than Ku Klux Klan.
While George may be no scholar,
I would bet my bottom dollar,
He's a better man than you are, Gunga Dan!

(With sincere apologies and appreciation to Rudyard Kipling)